L33/\/\0R's Journal

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keeping it short
Oh livejournal, how I have ignored thee.... lol

So here's the short versions of what I've been meaning to post:

1. Politics + my mother = scary .... she'll believe anything she hears on Fox news
2. I'm really not a liberal (check the political quiz on Facebook if you doubt), I am mostly libertarian. (this is in reference to 1.)
3. Hitting the gym and working out at home quite a bit to prepare for 2 kettlebell lifting competitions! (one in Oct. in NYC and one in Nov. in Sparta, NJ)
4. Work has crazy deadlines and they are now, and will be now until record testing starts.
4a. oh the amount of code that I've written in the past few weeks...
5. Still hanging out with C. Yes it's been over a year. No she's still not my girlfriend.
6. Still looking for a "real" girlfriend.
7. Need to find time to hang out with many of my friends as it's been far too long.

Current Mood: awake-when-should-be-sleepying

Bonnaroo!!!!!!!!
Wow. I just thought I'd post quick to say I had an amazing time at Bonnaroo. It was totally worth the money and the road trip. If the lineup is good next year I may have to go again. Look for pictures posted on my flickr and facebook in a few days...

Current Mood: Bonnaroo-a-rific

I know it's been far too long...
I know I have a ton to update here... I feel like my life has turned into working, going to the gym, singing, keeping up with dating sites (and getting few responses), and sleeping. Rinse, repeat. Thankfully the choir is on summer break right now so that has freed up a considerable amount of time. Don't get me wrong, I love singing and the music ministry at my church, but it took a big chunk of time out of the little bits of free time I had. Work has been nuts, we had several senior people leave. I also have been working two very busy projects. As for the gym, my trainer and I are prepping me to be able to compete in a World Kettle Bell Club competition. Hopefully I can be ready for the one in Aug., but if I don't qualify by then, I'll just wait for the next one. The final thing that has been eating my time is that I'm heading off to the Bonnaroo arts and music festival in Manchester, TN. There are so many good acts this year. I had to pick and choose which ones to see, but there is no way I'm missing NIN!! I'll be there from 1am to 4am early Sunday morning watching :-)

OK there's like a ton more to write, but I'm still not ready to go and I begin the road trip tomorrow afternoon. Well hopefully I won't forget anything important...

I know it'll probably be many more weeks until I really update again, but fret not, I have not forgotten LJ.... I haven't even been logged into Facebook or MySpace in weeks....

until then be well and have fun!

Current Mood: Bonnaroo-elatious

10 months on...
So I had meant for this to be a long update, but thanks to work and work travel and other stuff, it's going to be kind of summary.

So it's been about 10 months since the wedding that wasn't. I'm not sure exactly how to feel today. In the most recent interactions with T (

angel_blue_eyes), I've found that she is not the person I knew and was in love with. She has changed in all respects (personality, priorities, etc) and not in any way I would say was good. In fact, I've heard from some mutual friends that they are perplexed as well. That being said it's like missing someone who has passed away. It's quite a different feeling than missing someone who is still around but doesn't wish to interact with you. While I have no desire to really talk with her, I must admit of being curious how her life is going. She has ensured I don't have access to speak with her by blocking me via every mode of communication one could think of. While I don't care about being blocked, it surprised me that she was acting as if I was trying to get in contact with her or as if I was harassing her or something. However, I had not contacted her except for 2 phone calls which were about her taxes and another important matter. The other contacts she initiated. In any case, it is definitely a chapter very much closed in 99% of ways. Sadly there is still some fallout because of mutual friends and such that she has been screwing over and I have been taking their sides.

In other news, I have been dating (in an uncommital way) the LJ-less CNT. She has not been so happy with my lack of commitment, but I cannot see doing that right now. I feel like I want to keep looking around. I don't know how to describe it other than I still feel too badly burned, yet I want to have people to spend time with and go out with. Many people have suggested to just go out with friends, but many of my friends are either far away, or are with someone and so it's either not possible to hang out or I end up the 3rd or 5th wheel. In short, emotionally the waters are not really calm. I wish I could find someone that takes away my unease, but as of yet that has not happened...

Hope all is well with everyone. I'll actually try to update again soon.

W00T for patching software...
I just submitted my first ever patch for Ubuntu... It was not a very pretty fix, but it works non-the-less.

https://bugs.launchpad.net/network-manager/+bug/159106

Now let's hope package maintainers and the upstream developers do something with it...

Current Mood: accomplished

Promotion!
Hey just wanted to let everyone know the good news that I got promoted on Tuesday! I didn't even know that my boss had put me in for one. It was a very big surprise... and the promotion came with a pretty sizable instant raise :-) W00T!! Yay for some good news!

Current Mood: Promot-tastic

I'm really not ignoring you all!
Just letting you all know that I'm really not ignoring you, it's just I've been so busy with either working or travelling to go work at my "temporary" assignment that I barely can catch up with everyone's posts. So if I miss something important I'm going to apologize now. Hope you all are well. I'll have to post something meaningful one of these days or something.

Current Mood: exhausted

oh the world
So several months ago I buried my relationship and this week I buried a friend/coworker.... This is going to be a choppy mess of stuff so bear with it..

Recently I started to feel sad again about the breakup with

angel_blue_eyes.... I thought I was over it apparently not...Last week I had to call her about some tax stuff that came here and if you put a "hey babes" at the beginning and a "love you ultra" at the end you'd never tell the difference between the 30 min conversation and any pre-breakup one...

I can't remember if I wrote much about my travels to central NJ for work, but yeah so that is wearing me down.. I spend the first half of the week in the Holiday Inn Express and then get to drive home and work the last half at my regular job trying to do a weeks worth of work in 2 days...

Then this past monday I got an email saying that one of the government tech leads for a project I'm working on passed away over the weekend. He had various health problems throughout his life and it was nearly a miracle he lived to be 33, but still it sucks. I left work in the middle of the day to attend the funeral. So now add trying to help fill his absence to the 2 days I'm at my northern job and i'm pretty much spread too thin.

I'm exhausted but I wanted to get this out before I passed out... night night

where are all the hot poly girls?
Where exactly are the bi and poly girls between 24 and 32 that meet my requirements for physical attraction?? :-P

Ok so a girl I dated a few times recently decided we're going to be "just friends" and others haven't gotten to the first date usually b/c of either first the bi thing, but if they get past that being poly is more than they can deal with...

Oh well... the search continues...

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: The Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo

84% Bill Richardson
83% Mike Gravel
80% Barack Obama
80% John Edwards
77% Chris Dodd
76% Dennis Kucinich
74% Hillary Clinton
71% Joe Biden
41% Rudy Giuliani
41% John McCain
40% Mike Huckabee
32% Mitt Romney
30% Ron Paul
27% Fred Thompson
26% Tom Tancredo

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Best not to have a wedding...
I'm just realizing now that I haven't publicly said that the wedding is now off. It is probably best that we're not having a wedding, there are some things we need to take care of first.

"I have come to the conclusion that I am just not ready for marriage. I need to focus on graduate school and I feel that it is not fair to

leem0r to make him live apart from his wife for the next five years. I also will not have the time it takes to maintain a healthy marriage. Basically, the wedding has been canceled."

Hopefully we can work out our issues, but in the meantime I'm working on getting myself together and calmed down.

Do I have to go to work today?
I slept in by a combination of being tired and pushing snooze many times.

angel_blue_eyes and I picked out our wedding cake last night. The lady that is making it brought a sample cake and it was soooooo yummy!! I should really get moving and get ready for work. I'd much rather sleep all day. It was a long weekend. Some friends got married on Saturday so we drove there Friday and then drove back late Saturday night.

Well I'm off to shower.

Current Mood: *yawn*
Current Music: WNJN

It figures that a weekend I get to spend at home (i.e. not traveling somewhere) I'd be totally sick all day. I'm really tired of blowing my nose every few minutes. I was going to do something constructive, however that did not happen.

Current Mood: sick

quick update and stuff
I've noticed that my public posts don't indicate that I'm no longer on my temporary assignment in southern NJ... Well now you few random people that check out my public posts know. :-P

In other news, life is pretty good. I've gotten to see many of friends that live in the Philadelphia area more than usual thanks to my

angel_blue_eyes being in the Princeton area. This is cool. The driving from my house to p-ton is not as cool, but I think it's worth it. At least for the moment. I really need to come up with some better strategy.

Well I should really get to sleep or something. Probably should come up with PhD thesis topic while I'm at it. I need to find something that I will find interesting and that someone will pay to get the research done. Then I need to find a school that will accept me. I had applied to Princeton, but they were not impressed with my less than focused idea of what I wanted to study. I pretty much need my topic in hand before I begin applying anywhere again... but now it's time for the sleepies.

Current Mood: contemplative

Dear airpressure,
can't you just stay level for a while? This whole up, down business every few hours is driving my head crazy. Maybe you could go back to being nice?

Thanks.

Current Mood: crappy

Dear livejournal,

Why am I still awake at 5am when I need to get up at 9:30am...

Current Mood: St. Patty's-erific

insomnia day 2
night number two of it being 1am and I'm not tired at all. Last night I went to bed at 10:30, but I didn't fall asleep until after 2am.. tonight is shaping up for the same...

In other news I played my bass guitar followed by playing my 12-string guitar for the first time in months.

Current Mood: wishing i was sleepy
Current Music: me playing & singing Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here